I Ponder Thusly

It guessed right

2007-03-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

I think most of those things are true, above, except for "When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often." I only agree with them often if they are right! Some people may consider me to be argumentative because of this, but I am learning to choose my battles and be vague if I don't really agree with someone, so as not to get in a long discussion about why I disagree!

Some Thoughts

2007-02-17T13:51:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Natalie for being the most beautiful and most wonderful girl in Winter Frolic!

I've been doing a lot lately. I've been having lots of fun with my job as a trainer...my husband-to-be is amazing, God's word is amazing, life is good. I can't wait to get married and live in our own place.

And finally, I can say it: I am totally in the zone for wedding planning. I'm planning like mad, because it's about that time. Less than four months to go!!!

I've been having semi-nightmares about the invitations. In my first dream, it was one day before the wedding. I was talking to Ryan and some other people, and all of the sudden...I got nervous. I said, "Oh my gosh - tomorrow's the wedding and we haven't invited anyone yet!!!"

Then, my other dream. Last night or probably this morning. It was a month before the wedding and we hadn't sent out invitations yet. In fact, we hadn't really started thinking about it! Ryan had a similar dream recently, I think.

This week I've been figuring out wedding party outfits. It's going to be lots of fun! My colors are champagne and wine. Neither of which I drink very often. haha

I've known for months I would have daisies at my wedding.

They are BORN

2006-12-17T15:18:00.000-08:00

I heard a rumor yesterday that the triplets were born, and indeed, it was affirmed today in church.

I will not tell the names of the two boys and girl, as I am very afraid I will mispell the names. They are beautiful names. Congratulations to the fam!

Shaleah's Babies!

2006-12-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

No, they're not born yet, but how I love them so much and must write about them! I told Shaleah about Steve's web site used to keep up with his progress, and how it would be cool if she had a site people could check to see how she's doing. Since she doesn't have such a thing, I will write what I know:

She was having significant contractions at the end of last week (Thurs & Fri, I think) and was told that if the contractions lasted longer than an hour, they would have to deliver. They gave her some pain medication about that time, and for some reason that made the contractions stop! So, they didn't deliver. But, if they need to stop contractions in the future with medication, they might choose instead to deliver since too much medication may not be good for the little ones.

Today Shaleah says she is "Pretty good just big and uncomfortable but happy i am still pregnant".

Keep praying for Shaleah! OOOooh, babies are coming soon!! Yea!

Frolic Film Festival

2006-12-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

Hello!

As some of you somehow found out (JC, how did you find out living so far away?) - my design was chosen for this year's Winter Frolic button. If you would like to see what it looks like, visit the Winter Frolic website, winterfrolic.com. I am not going to post a picture of it here since it's so much easier to link to it. Also, there are things about the button that I totally would change if I could, but since I can't, and I'm sure I would never be completely satisfied with it, I will spare myself from seeing it when I load my page. But, soon enough, I will inevitably see the button on everyone's jackets. Unless, of course, everyone hates my button so much they refuse to participate in the winter festivities!

The design is okay - and the Frolic committee seemed to like it a lot! I'm glad I won. So praise God! I think he wanted me to have $100 for my wedding fund!

Also:

If anyone would like to submit a short independent film to the Frolic committee, the committee would be quite interested in viewing it if you claim it is good. There is an alleged independent "film showing" during this year's Frolic. They said 5-10 minutes would be an ideal length, but some longer independent films I've seen are so excellent that I'm betting they would bend. If anyone needs contact info for this, call or email me.

Leave a Note for Steve

2006-11-26T06:39:00.000-08:00

Hi people,

If anyone would like to check up on Steve's progress, goto ThisCaringBridgeLink. You may also sign the guestbook (leave a note for him - it will be read to him when he's awake). Pray for him!

Sigh

2006-11-12T06:36:00.000-08:00

I miss my handsome future husband. He's been hunting someplace far away for like four days.

At least my sister and I have been able to hang out. And, absence makes the heart grow fonder, of course. (As if that were even possible....)

What is...a day off?

2006-11-10T07:54:00.000-08:00

A day off!

What is a day off for me anyway? A day off from...

work?

scheduled appointments?

one job?

one of two jobs?

worries?

fears?

planning the day?

sleeplessness?

not eating breakfast?

The answers are D and I. D because "a day off" for me means a day off from one of two jobs. It also means I can have a day off from not eating breakfast, which means, I can be sure to eat breakfast today!

The answers are NOT E and F because worries and fears should not be a part of any day, so how can I have a day off from something that isn't supposed to ever be on?

Also, sleeplessness is not something that regularly occurs with me, thus even if I am getting sleep today, it doesn't mean I am getting a "day off" from sleeplessness, as there rarely is any sleeplessness.

The answer, number A, is a questionable one. I could say that I have a day off from work when I have a day off, but that would mean that only one of two of my jobs is work for me. I'd rather consider neither of them to be "work." The word "work" just seems...dark. Is anything that is done with joy ever going to be work for the person that does it?

I'm gettin weird now. Especially since I used bullets and not the letters that I was referring to in my list.

Hey Guess What

2006-09-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, you probably won't have to guess...because you probably already know.

Ryan and I are engaged! Yea!

So maybe June is a good month to get married. Who knows. Talk to you all later!

I Never Post

2006-06-27T17:31:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is called "I Never Post," and that is because, I rarely do.

But let me think of something to talk about other than what I don't talk about.

Here's a rundown of recent current event headlines:

1) Sister in Marching Band
2) Boy Friend and Dead President Tear Up Living Room - Yea!
3) Boy Friend is a Wedding Usher
4) Dad Buys Tomato Plants
5) Boy Friend Ponders Career
6) Boy Friend Tears Up Yard - Yea!
7) We Plant Flowers
8) I Wait For Flowers to Grow
9) Boy Friend's Sister Goes to AZ
10) Where Are the Flowers?
11) Church Ponders Future
12) Where Is the Pastor?
13) I Have a Job
14) Boy Friend is a Groomsman
15) Rain, Rain, Rain - Yea!
16) Boy Friend's Sister Returns North
17) Sister Begs for Sonshine

Eureka!

2006-04-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to tell the world that I figured out what my email password is. Silly me. So, now I have no excuse for not checking my email. Shucks.

Michigan and stuff!

2006-04-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

Helloooooo!!

Let's see...what to talk about really quick.

News! Ryan took me to Michigan last month and it was awesome! Old news, I guess, but...We visited his brother and his niece and nephews, which was the best part, of course. It was the first time I met his brother.

Ryan talks about it more within his blog.

Twas fun, though..twas fun. It was very relaxing walking around the famous Notre Dame during one afteroon (and Ryan showed me the nonfiction movie Rudy afterwards, which was filmed there). Another place I won't forget soon is the Granger Community Church that his brother attends (which is huge and has over 6000 people in it - very media-friendly). Shockingly, a famous Christian author Shaunti Feldhahn, of which I've read her book For Women Only, spoke at the church about men and women. The main point of her message (which was actually set up more like a talk-show interview with one of the pastors) was that women want to feel loved by their spouse and men want to be shown respect. I would have to agree about her conclusions. Her conclusions were based on a professional survey of about 1000 men that she had organized.

Girls, sign up for to win tickets to a Christian cruise here.

The Mystery Pet

2006-03-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

Greetings, friends. I just wanted to let you all know that I have not been able to check my email for a couple of weeks, as I changed my password not long before then and have quickly forgotten it. Hopefully I will figure it out soon. Or, hopefully I will figure out what my pet's name is. Then I can answer my secret question and get a new password. I thought it was the name of my current dog, but I guess I've had this email account for so long, I used the name of another pet.

So, newsynews, I must admit I haven't been reading your newsletters of late. I hope this doesn't cause a stir in your circulation center. I am not canceling my subscription.

Also, superstar, I did email you a few weeks ago. Perhaps I did not use the correct address...or perhaps I did and I just have not been faithful keeping up the dialogue, as I have no recollection of the mystery pet. Do forgive me as well.

May I not also forget my beloved business colleagues, who may have been ardently trying to reach me this past fortnight, alas, in vain. We will have to develop alternate means of communication for a time, until the dark cages of my mind are released.

Jac-in-the-box

2006-02-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

Considering I will eventually try for a graphic design type of job (unless I decide to stay home and paint my toenails all day), I will need to submit a designer's style resume. That means it should be more than plain text and should show off my designer abilities.

I am considering putting a picture of a jack-in-the-box on it...at first I wasn't going to because I thought it might be seen as being too kiddish or silly, but my instructor Sarah really liked the idea. I told her why I thought of it - my name is Jac, and I'm getting "out of the box."

What should my jack-in-the-box look like? It doesn't have to look like the normal kind. What kind of expression should it have? Happy? Confident? Surely not smug. Suspicious? I think I'm on to something.

Right now, I am in class. 3D. My interests in it are steadily increasing. We are tweaking our human model's lips. One of my classmates says my girl doesn't look female. I think it looks like a girl.

3D:Ocean

2006-02-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

I made this ocean in Advanced 3D Computer Modeling in the fall. I think it looks pretty realistic. In an animation, the waves will actually move. I was watching a movie with a friend...what was it...Ice Age. There was some pretty realistic rivers in that movie, and my friend insisted that they merged live video with the 3D characters. Not necessarily, my fried; I insist.

How I love proving a point. How foolish.

I Ponder about the Blessed chaos

2006-02-01T12:45:00.000-08:00

I really have a lot of things I'd like to post about...family, college buddies, school projects, my ideas about my future career options...but I'm in class and really shouldn't. I want to post pictures of some of the stuff I've been working on. Later I will.

So I'm going to go now.

But I have to tell everyone that Ryan made me dinner a couple days ago - whole wheat/spinach spaghetti with tomato-basil sauce, fresh asparagus, and garlic bread. What a guy, I'm tellin ya. I don't post enough about how wonderful he is. I think I've only posted about him once - right when we started seeing each other a few months ago. Though I don't post about many things very often...I guess maybe I feel like I'm bragging when I write about him - like I'm being insensitive to the single community, or certain people who would get insanely jealous of my mentioning him rather than them in my posts (i.e. newsynews). Just kidding. Anywho.

Also, I added a "Verse of the Day" on the top of my blog thanks to Biblegateway.com's suggested scripting. Later I will format it to look nicer on my page. Enjoy, and do absorb, fellow bloggers.

A Matching Pair

2006-01-25T15:09:00.000-08:00

This is my sister and me in matching vests that we got at Christmas. I have not yet worn my vest since then; I think it's more a Brookinator style. I'm too much of an old fart to wear neon yellow-green. Besides, I do not have a shirt that would really match it, so I ponder if I will wear it in the future or if I should give it to someone. Or, if that may potentially offend the one who gave it to me. Or, if it would be most right to do it quietly to not attract attention. That last option sounds like a pretty decent idea. But I feel lazy. Actually, no, it's just I have other things to do. Thus, I will store my vest in my closet! Or perhaps the sister could use a spare!!

Brookie, I love you and hope you are all better today. Don't puke.

Just a little request

2006-01-20T12:17:00.000-08:00

Lord, help me to live your Word.

Trusting Angels.

2006-01-19T15:28:00.000-08:00

I'm sure some would find it silly, me posting what other's have written, but I'm going to do it again. How many of you have heard of Jason Upton? I went to his site, and he has made a lot of music. Here is some narrative he wrote about his CD Trusting Angels. I don't know much about this guy, but I know he's touched the hearts of a few strong Christian's I know...any comments about this welcome.

"Trusting the Angels"

Psalm 91:11 “For he will give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.” From before the time Israel chose a human king (the days of Cloud by Day and fire by night) to the rise and fall of Nebuchadnezzar …….from the rejection of Jesus and the inconvenience ‘The God-child’ created for so many in his day to the inconvenience children seem to now create in American society, God has always been sending angels to help “keep us in all his ways.”

How extreme should we be about trusting our lives to “messengers” (these angels) that might inconvenience us, or even hurt us? In one of the Gospel accounts of the betrayal of Jesus, Peter cuts off the soldier’s ear. Jesus then heals the man and says, “Peter, this cup my Father has for me, do you think I should not drink it?” Jesus was saying: ‘Don’t be afraid, Peter! We are not alone! This is no random act of betrayal. This is my Father’s will concerning my purpose for living.’ You see Jesus was so submitted to his Father that his gut reaction to betrayal was not to fight it but to receive it. Amazing! That is not my gut reaction to betrayal. And I believe that is why God has been giving me these songs and revelations……because He wants it to be my gut reaction. He wants me to see God as so sovereign that He “works the angels” to fulfill his purposes for me, whether that be changing me or moving me or even betraying me. Jesus did not see life as a competition (something to be fought for) but as a cup (something to be received). He had “made” the Father his refuge.

When we do not make the Lord our refuge but place our protection in the hands of false-comforts (i.e. self, home, friends, economy, national leaders, or even religion) humanity has a biblically recorded history of acting out of fear, thus killing its enemies. ‘Self-rule’ led the Catholic church to attempt to kill Luther, Luther then tried to kill Zwinglie, Zwinglie tried to kill Calvin, and Calvin tried to kill Huss. And it continues with us: fighting for our land and our rights and our control, killing our enemies, aborting our children and divorcing the spouses who inconvenience our lives. And why? Simply because we innately know that we are not in control of our destiny and yet are not willing to submit to God. So we attempt to control anything we can.

As one of my friends said recently concerning the American church: ‘if we had all the money in the world we would buy anything but a miracle, but only because we cannot buy a miracle.’ Knowing this, we would rather buy everything we can and control it, than give up all our rights and submit ourselves to God’s rule thereby gaining the miracle of the Kingdom in this life and the life to come. I speak here of the church not because we are worse than the world but because we should know better. We must begin to be an example on earth of the Kingdom. When Jesus walked the streets and hillsides and wanted to show us an example of a ‘creation’ living in trust and submitted to the Kingdom of his Father, He did not point to a middle aged man fulfilling his dream, He did not point to religious leaders gaining crowd approval, and He did not point to kings and rulers. Rather, He pointed to children, lilies, trees, and birds. Trusting the Angels is all about learning to trust God’s sovereign rule over our lives to the extent that every child, spouse, friend, and yes, even enemy can be seen as a cup to drink in from our Father. He has truly given ‘his “Angels” charge over us, to keep us in all his ways.’

Jason Upton

To the parents

2006-01-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

"Television"
by Roald Dahl

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

Silly, I know

2005-12-20T13:41:00.000-08:00

Thank you all who recommended uploading services. I chose Ripway.com because any type of file may be uploaded...I was hoping to upload a 3D animation, but the file size would be too huge.

My skills

2005-12-16T13:27:00.000-08:00

Thanks, all, for your tips on uploading my animated gifs. After I get my homework done, I will attempt to upload my supernerdman the right way, and you can all see him flex. I used Adobe ImageReady CS2 to make the gif, though Photoshop can make animated gifs too.

I've been learning a whole lot in the multimedia program I'm in - it's tons of fun. Over Christmas break, if the lab is open, I should have time to mess around with what I've learned to do something besides homework or studying for finals...perhaps I can perfect the Rustproof logo I've been working on. Haha, it's kind of funny - I was working on the logo in Adobe Illustrator from a scanned, hand-drawn template given to me by Mike R last week. Mike came and reviewed my progress I'd made on the logo and when he saw the scanned template he had drawn, he said, "Oh, that's what I drew? Hmm...I almost like the one I drew better," in classic Mike style. I suspect my work will not be necessary after all!

I have no secrets. Just untested skills.

God bless you all.

Can i post my own animated GIF on Blogger?

2005-11-23T07:40:00.000-08:00

Pounding Out

2005-11-14T09:43:00.000-08:00

The car pretty much looks as good as new, now. My dad used a mallet on the hood, and it's lookin good. Go Dad!! :)

--Jac

The damage...

2005-11-08T12:32:00.000-08:00

This is how she used to look: *sigh*

And this is what she looked like this morning:

And here's a picture of Brooke tinted orange. Because I feel like it.

Yoink, the Sequel

2005-11-07T07:53:00.000-08:00

A deer smashed my car Friday. Haha.

Yoink

2005-11-03T12:55:00.000-08:00

I lost my hat today. Sad.

Bubye :P

FYI

2005-10-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy with school lately. Just so everyone knows.

I really enjoy this picture of cartoon fruit I drew in Photoshop class. We had to do a product ad, and I invented a new soda called "Doc Rocker" that had a flavor called "Kiwi Strawberry Kick."

Actually the Brookinator and I invented Doc Rocker for one of her school projects last year, I think. Except her bottle looked totally different - it was shaped like a "flying V" electric guitar. Once I learn Illustrator, I will do another product ad for my Doc Rocker soda, and I will draw a picture of a doctor and use the slogan my best friend and I came up with back in the day..."Too fizzy for your physician!"

All these ideas are copyrighted, mind you.

"It's Not Hard to Understand"

2005-10-17T12:57:00.000-07:00

The Yankees weren't doing so hot at the beginning of the '96 World Series, but something turned things around. Sports reporter Chris Carpenter gives a lesson in the power of words in the article "It's Not Hard to Understand," part of which is typed below.

Following Game 2, as my cameraman and I were leaving the deathly silent New York clubhouse, we began to discuss what was wrong with the Yankees. We continued our conversation as we waited for an elevator. As the brushed chrome elevator doors opened, I blurted out, "I just don’t understand why New York isn’t hitting?"

Suddenly, a commanding voice answered my rhetorical query.

"I just don’t understand it either," bellowed Yankees owner George Steinbrenner as he stepped from the elevator. "But I am certainly going to find out why."

With that he patted me on the shoulder and walked briskly down the hall in full Yankee swagger toward New York’s clubhouse. To this day, I do not know what he said to his players that night but whatever it was it must have been incredibly motivating. The Yankees won the next four games (three of them in Atlanta) to win the series.

Looking back on that night by the elevator in Yankee Stadium, I am struck by the power of communication. Words give form to our ideas and are expressions of our feelings. Words can bring clarity to a situation or they can bring muddled confusion. They can serve as great pain or soothing comfort.

Whatever George Steinbrenner said to his team, whether threatening or encouraging, undoubtedly inspired them to play better baseball. History bears that out.

Just as Steinbrenner inspired his team through the spoken word, as Christians we need the word of God to inspire us and provide a clear path for our lives.

In Psalm 119:105, David writes "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

We need God’s word to provide us with wisdom, power, and love. To know what is right and wrong we need to search the scriptures to find truth and to know what His plan is for us.

We cannot possibly survive without the word of God. For every question there is an answer. For every crisis there is comfort. For every moment of despair, there is victory.

Without the word it is easy to say ‘I do not understand." But with it, we can keep ourselves on track as we travel through life.

To read the whole article, click.

Women's Conference in Deerwood, MN

2005-10-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I had a wonderful experience with some great friends. I was honored to be asked to sing at the women's "Refresh, Refill, Renew" Holy Spirit conference with Josh, Shaleah, Greg R., Ben, Natalie, and Chelsea. Met a pretty cool girl named Heather, and some really great ladies that I may never see again, but will reunite with in the heavenly kingdom some day! Here are some pictures that I took before my camera died. I will post about some things I learned at the conference later when I have more time.

Here's Shaleah talking with Sandy, one of the ladies (besides Josh's mom) that was running the conference. Shaleah sang a wonderful, anointed solo of "Wonderful, Merciful Savior" on Friday night, and a lady whom I forget the name of did a beautiful dance during it.

Josh ran the worship, of course. We played five times during the conference. We were there Thursday night through Saturday afternoon, and the precious little girl he's holding was well-behaved the entire time!

I had a blast with everyone there! Greg's not in any of these pictures, but I had fun hanging with him too. Must have been weird for him being at a women's conference, but he enjoyed it I think! As for us girls, I stayed in a room with Chelsea and Natalie, and I think I freaked them out a little more than a little in some of our conversations. But I think they still love me. :P

It was beautiful at the camp we were at in Deerwood, MN. The trees were much more vibrant than what I've seen lately in our town. Soon all the leaves will fall off.

yay!

2005-10-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! I'm posting today!!!

5 wks later

2005-10-03T14:56:00.000-07:00

I was recently talking to someone I don't get to see very often, and this someone wasn't sure if I was seeing a certain someone else. I guess I thought the scenario was obvious, though I suppose it wouldn't be obvious to someone whom I don't get to see very often, and it was much less obvious to this someone because I wrote nothing about it on this here bolg. I love bolging. har har

So if we were wondering out there, whether or not it is true - it is. I simply haven't been publicly pondering the more important things in life at "I Ponder Thusly" lately.

I guess that's all I will say about that. ;)

Jealousy vs. Envy

2005-09-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was actually thinking about what the difference is between jealousy and envy in recent days, as I found out that there was, in fact, a difference. Envy is a sin - it is covetousness, a form of discontentment. But jealousy is a little different - God can be jealous. God describes himself as a "jealous God" in the Bible. He would hate to have His children seek after another.

My friend Brooke actually wrote a whole report on the difference between jealousy and envy! Her description of the difference between the two is helping me to better understand how they contrast:

The word envy refers to feelings of dissatisfaction and resent brought on by one’s own desire for another’s possessions or qualities. Jealousy means feelings of dislike, which can conceive hatred and the want for competition to keep what he or she has.

Cool, huh?

Well, gotta go - me and Brooke are off to a CC meeting. Sweet.

A list of things To-Do

2005-09-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Today I have mostly a free day after I'm done in my web authoring class (which is SWEET!!). Actually I'm going to have to stay here at the college for an hour and develop my slide film of a bunch of landscape shots I took yesterday first.

But after that,

I want to get the entryway and the bathroom ready to paint in my house.
I want to clean the junk out of my old bedroom and ship most of it off to the Goodwill,
I want to do my laundry but I might not be able to because my dad wants to do his laundry today, and
I want to pull all carpet staples off the stairwell (where I pulled out the nasty 30-yr-old dogsmell shag carpet like 2 weeks ago). After I get all that done, there's a chance I could actually
paint the entryway and bathroom, but only if I hurry.

I better quit typing, develop my film, and get moving!

Ah, such a non-philosophical post I have bestowed on my readers today. I hope it has encouraged you all to be motivated in your To-Do list of the day.

Most Excellent.

A Slightly Grotesque Story

2005-09-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

I never would have thought that cuticles could be trimmed, but apparently they can be. I read it in a book.

Then I discovered that I actually have a cuticle trimmer, and so I decided to use it. I cut into my skin four or five times by accident, and now my fingers really hurt, even though I did that more than 24 hours ago. The devine one insists that cuticles should not be trimmed, and all I can say is, it can be dangerous. My fingers look much more trim, however. Guess I gotta develop some skills in this area.

Living Gracefully

2005-09-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself getting anxious about something in your life that you don't fully understand? A person, a situation, a confused plan, a problem? Something worse?

When God allowed our spirits to be generated from His amazing Mind at our time of creation, was He hoping that we would fumble with our days in fear or worry, or listlessness? Nothingness? Without purpose?

As easily as He created your spirit, body, and soul - He will create a blessed future for those who trust in Him.

These verses are from Matthew 10 - I copied them from Biblegateway.com.
27What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

God will watch over His children. And His children will trust in Him and do His will - and when they fail, they will repent and turn from their ways because they will be focused on living for His glory! That's what I want to be!

I got this off of a magnet on my refrigerator:	Today, I will be too calm for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for defeat. Today, I will believe anything is possible, I will walk through fear without hesitation. Today, I will stand for something. Today, I will make a difference.

The Water Closet

2005-08-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

Dearest Blog Readers,

Alas, I have not written for over three weeks. I have been...keeping myself busy, and the call of work and now the call of school and all the important people in my life will ensure that this will not change any time soon. But, I like having sizeable responsibilities, so of course I am not complaining.

If I could sum up all of my activities of these past three weeks with one word, I would say I have been "cleaning." Yes, it is true that I have been trying to clean the house I live in now and then though that can be a challenge as I have to cohabitate with a smelly dog and fox urine-afflicted carpet. I've also been cleaning up some past mistakes, broken glass in strange places, disorganized computer files on my college computer,...

Speaking of cleaning, has anyone visited Jess Broberg's bathroom lately? Actually I don't remember it being any other way. I think it must be the cleanest water closet I have ever seen or will see. I just don't understand it. She just has some kind of gift. And if she happens to be reading this now and is wondering if I am kissing up or something, the answer is "Yes, I'll do anything to make you love me more, Jess, I LOVE YOUUUU!" Haha, no I hope I'm not that way. But seriously - could anyone think of a cleaner bathroom than hers?

Well, dear vast audience, I think I will stop writing now. Thank you for your time, forgiveness, and sense of humor. Good night.

Under the Overpass

2005-08-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

A few years ago when my mother was a college student, she decided she would spend the night in Duluth as a homeless person for an interpersonal communications class project. She really learned a lot and her stories sparked interest in the community -in fact, she was on the front page of the newspaper and on Eyewitness News.

I was browsing around one of my favorite Christian websites, and I learned about a man who did something similar. Yankoski lived as a homeless man for five months in Washington, D.C., with hopes to "take great risks of faith to bring Christ's love to the neediest corners of the world." He was just 20 years old, and he did something huge. Read the article, it will bless you!! Click here

Attack of the Clowns

2005-08-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year..the time when the fairgrounds gain more color, and the clowns come out to play. May we who are in the Lord force ourselves into all righteousness and flee our ridiculous fears.

To keep or not to keep?

2005-07-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

I've been wondering...

Is carpet always a luxury? Because that's what certain family members of mine think, and I personally think that if the carpet is matted-down 70's shag, there is pretty much no hope for it. That is why I tore most of it out of my house, while incurring the wrath of 2/3 of my immediate family. Also, if the carpet is not matted-down 70's shag, and is, rather, of the slightly more modern (80's perhaps?) flat patterned type, does that make it more luxurious? Is it luxurious if it smells of fox urine? I would venture a "No," though ever so hesitantly for fear of dishonoring a family member who has less of a sense of smell than I do. I would prefer concrete. Though I guess it might be possible to use some sort of cleaning solution to counter the odor...sounds like more work than its worth, but I suppose it would be a shame to just get rid of "new" carpet. Got it about four years ago. Husband (of mother) #3 rescued it from being thrown away from Fortune Bay Casino. They got the real "new" carpet.

Oh, the many questions of life...

Speaking Lies.. or Eventual Truths?

2005-06-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

I'd like to think of myself as being a stable individual, but if I said it, it is possible that I would be lying, depending on the definition of "stable."

Although... Joyce Meyer said in her book "Me and My Big Mouth!" that we can claim attributes for ourselves just by declaring that we have them, and this will make it happen. We can speak something into existence like God spoke the world into existence because we have a power similar to that of God's (being created in his image). I suppose "The tongue has the power of life and death, and they that love it will eat its fruit" from Proverbs might be an appropriate citation here.

So I should be shouting, "I am a stable!" Er, wait a minute. "I am stable! I am not a mindless amoeba!! Woot!" and be happy about it. Except I probably wouldn't say "Woot" because that's more of a Whatserface (and Tim) interjection and I like to mix things up a little and attempt to sound more smarter than everyone else. So, "Most Outstanding!" could do.

One thing I pride myself about myself is my versatility. If you are reading this and thinking right now, "JAC...VERSATILE? Yeah right," then, well, this may be one of those "speak-into-existence" experiments. I'm always up for self-improvement! Because hasn't God given me everything I need, and all of us everything we need, for a full life in Christ?

Anyway, I'm just so dern versatile, it amazes me. Yes, I can be far too easily given to disillusionment, but I can be just as easily given to unnatural happiness and contentment.

It's like a flick of a switch. First I might be Fraked out, man! but then...hey, watch the versatile switchover. I'm walkin on Sonshine! I'm being flexible enough to bend away from my carnal, self-absorbed tendencies after I recognize them. Ridding myself of stubbornness and rebellion against what I really know is right.

Props to me. And, props to Jenny C, CC Steve, Mike, Big Red, Chad, BJo, and Mom and Dad for nudging me to grow up. I mean, we all have struggles. I usually know how to make it through most all of my struggles deep down inside, but having people bring things to the surface for me is very helpful. I'm so glad God has shown his love to me just by random things people say.

Yes, Jenny, I will know what to do with my life before pigs fly - I thank you for the reminder. I enjoy the fact that you have confidence in this. CC Steve, thanks for reminding me to praise God through all situations in lieu of messy escapades. Mike, thanks for reminding me that pigs do fly; I fully agree. Big Red, it's great writing to you - its very encouraging to me somehow. Chad, thanks for being there for me as a brother in Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to use you to speak to me. BJo, you B-Rockin my world, valuing my company and assuring me of the good things God has for me. Mom, thanks for talking to me. Dad, thanks for the 2-5 hugs I get every day. (Dad, thank you also for cooking so much for me, but please stop, as I now have 2-5 pounds to lose.)

God bless, all. Be excellent to each other.

Wilbur??

2005-06-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

Will pigs ever fly, really? And what all will happen when they do fly? A whole bunch of stuff, if the thousands who said "Such and such will happen when pigs fly" were telling the truth throughout the ages.

Some examples of what might happen when pigs fly:

Ellie May will learn to be a lady.

My dad will learn to say "Antonio Banderas" rather than "Antonio Bandero."

Someone in Hollywood will stay with their spouse more than two years.

Whatserface will tell the blogging world her answer to my question, "What will happen when pigs fly?" unabashedly.

The antelopes will stop dwindling.

Chris Farley (or better yet, Fred Astaire) will resurrect and make all my wildest dreams come true. -Just kidding-

Minnesota will have some consistently enjoyable weather.

I will move to Alaska or otherwhise figure out what I ought to do with my life!

What of RPG Junkies?

2005-06-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

Children! Children trapped in young adult bodies - are those who drown themselves in the virtual world of the role-playing game.

Lost in the imaginary, eyes stuffed with wonder, or is it wistfulness?

For they are not satisfied with this real life they are living! But is that so shocking? Every human soul yearns for more than this (at one time or another). But what we have to hold are images of Heaven and a great satisfaction knowing this life is a superb Adventure with great purpose! And that being just as it is - absent of faeries and dragons and trolls and elves. But, present of demons and angels and great bone-to-flesh spiritual power!

I pity those who do not truly live because they are lost in a parallel world - exciting, energizing - but temporal and actually non-existenct. If their eyes were opened - they could feed their eyes and imagination on the possibilities of a supernatural life in the presence of God...battling demons, building up the limitless power of Christ in themselves and others. These would make the best Christians - warriors not slack in their Work, because they'd recognize that they are on the winning side - the side of power - and they could envision victory as a real option...with faith like little children.

Lord, scoop these people up so they may serve you and not Satan, or themselves.

My Own Plot

2005-06-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

Some thoughts from a couple days ago...kind of cheesy, as most of what I write is, but it's meaningful to me.

I am realizing that
All my problems
Are really just all in my head --
I go with my emotions
When they really don't think much
And where's the sense in that?

It makes sense to
Live life to its fullest
Embrace each day, each person
Every single challenge!
Passionate! Ready! Standing up inside,
Fearless.
Afraid of no man, no scenario.

This body, this mind=just tools
Just actors (or props?) in a play.
I bend them, I make them,
They obey,
And I'll stand back and applaud when
They do exactly as I want them to do!

I will smile at every
Hunger pang, every creeping tiredness...
I rebuke their evils, any intentions,
But I recognize them,
For solely their existence
As they show me I am enveloped in
This play. It's real. It matters.
And I will make it what I want it to be.

A plot unfolding victories.

Rest in Thee

2005-06-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

A Poem by Gerhard Tersteegan:

Thou hidden love of God, whose height,
Whose depth unfathomed, no man knows
I see from far Thy beauteous light,
Inly I sigh for Thy repose;
My heart is pained, nor can it be
At rest till it finds rest in thee.

An Adventure

2005-06-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

I am an exceptionally silly girl. At least I'm not exceptionally ill-natured. (Nay, tho slightly ill-natured!)

Ah yes. Life certainly is an adventure, isn't it?

1 Corinthians 1

9God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.

Cerebellum'd!

2005-05-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a quick post b/c i'm sick of being on this computer! Humans were not made to stare at a screen all the days of their lives! It hurts the cerebrum! Cerebellum! Shucks! I see it's already taken effect!

Okay, so I've had an awesome weekend and whatnot - Abby and Chad are inspiring, Randy really spoke to my heart on Sunday (er, sorry, God did), and I must have done something else good. Oh yeah. Nevermind.

But, I've also had a messed-up weekend. These are some of the crazy things I have done:

I went to the market to buy a watermelon for my Father, and as I left the market with all my goods, I realized no watermelon had been purchased by good ol' Jac. No lycopene for me or the dad.

I searched high and low for my cellular fruit only to realize, as I sunk exhaustedly into my cot, that it was in my right hand. I mean the left.

I stopped at a green light in heavy traffic. This was embarrasing to me.

I put my unduhpants on inside out and didn't change them rightside out. And yet, a few hours later, they were rightside out. Could someone please clue me in on what happened there? I'm frightened!

Also, more than once, I heard a noise in back of me and turned around to see who it was, only to figure out that it was the door shutting behind me.

What I really want to know is, what is the reason for my dazedness? Am I always like this? I'd venture a "yes."

I think my problem stems from reading a vulgar book once that purported, "Absorb the color of life, but never its details. Details are always vulgar." So, I've pretty much been absorbing colors and forgetting everything else, including common observances.

I do think this way of thinking is hazardous.

The Georgie Effect

2005-05-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I kind of had fun with that post about truth. What I was initially planning on posting about was worms. Last week I went for a walk and I saw a worm on the middle of the sidewalk, and it was wiggling around, all helpless. And, I proved to myself that I do in fact have a soul. And by "a soul," I mean, a heart of compassion.

I thought, "Why is Georgie crawling on the sidewalk on such a dry day? Should warmer weather arrive with the afternoon, he'll dry up like a raisen if he doesn't get a move on!"

So I picked up that little Georgie and put him back in Jenny and Larry's yard. Well, no, it was someone else's yard on their block. And I smiled to myself, full of pride, and walked on my way. But my tale isn't over.

About two sidewalks squares later, I stopped suddenly, wondering...did I put the critter on the right side of the sidewalk? Maybe he was trying to get from the yard to the boulevard for some grande purpose! Maybe I had just done something...eeevvil. The whole course of the world could be changed because of it! Because of the butterfly effect - one little flap of the butterfly's wings in Guam can cause a monsoon in - in - some monsoon-afflicted country. And one little worm at the wrong place at the wrong time could dictate disaster for a nation.

Friends, let us pray that my "heart of compassion" will not turn the world upside-down.

Understanding Truth

2005-05-26T11:00:00.000-07:00

Good morning, world! Or, good one oh-two pm, world! Isn't it a lovely day?

Encouragement for those who are in Christ:

"We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life."

1 John 5

There is so much we can think about - so much to wonder about our own lives and about the spiritual world. Occasionally this can make me nervous - this limitless mass of questions. But...I know I can always rest secure knowing Christ as the Son of God! He is the foundation of all of our knowledge; he has given us understanding for life.

What we do not know, we can turn to Christ to know. I love this prayer of David, who is seeking of the Lord:

Psalm 25:4-6 (New International Version)

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

Not only does God have truth, which David asks to be guided in, but He also IS Truth!

Christ said, "I and the Father are One". (Jn 10:30) Christ also claimed to be the Truth in John 14:6.

The TRUTH! Truth is what theories strive for, religions search for. That's so big. What the world is looking for is Christ, but it may not know it! (Tangent: the song "What the world needs now is love, sweet love!" is also true, as God is not only truth, but love, accd. to 1 Jn 4:8.)

Christ spoke of truth constantly. What he said was true. When you read his teachings in the gospels, he starts off much of what he says by saying, "I tell you the truth,..."

Take note, he also said the "Spirit of Truth" would be sent to his disciples.

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

John 16

Sweet. :)

Useful information

2005-05-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

Presently, I really have nothing philosophical to say, so I'm just going to give a few resources that deal with a physical matter. It may behoove those of you who have horrific, let me say..."fragrances," to read on. Here are a few links to help you deal with your problem:

Do you have Hyperhidrosis?

Might you have Fish Odor Syndrome?

Test your deodorant know-how!

The ignorable dangers of Anti-Perspirants

Your last resort...

Thank you, and God bless, and if you are wondering if I was thinking of you specifically, dear reader, when I made this post, you're just paranoid. Or perhaps you really do have odour issues.

The Futility!

2005-05-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

Alas! The wisdom of man is futile!

Solomon was wise, but who cares? He didn't care. He said everything is meaningless (if it was he who wrote Ecclesiastes).

So what is the point of defining "wisdom" as being unique from "idiocy" if it doesn't matter anyway? Solomon may as well have been an moron.

And why did he get all those concubines? Was that okay in God's eyes? Was God perhaps slightly offended, but He looked over his offense saying, "Well, Sol is the wisest one I've got, so I'll cut him some slack and let him indulge in about...800 earthly pleasures." Or was He not offended at all?

Would God have let Sol drink to excess as well? Smoke MJ? Is MJ really so bad? Not that I'm wanting to roll any doobies. It's against the law and not healthy. Maybe they didn't have MJ back then. At least not in the Middle East. Or was God only allowing the women thing? Sick. I can't handle this.

The only thing I remember reading about the dangers of Solomon's many, er, "relationships" was that his idolatrous wives led him astray spiritually by turning Solomon's heart to other gods. I'm wondering if God minded the surplus of women before they aroused His jealousy.

So...

Likely, "the wisdom of man is futile" means that God is not impressed by man's wisdom. But He wants us to be wise, doesn't he?

My word, am I ever annoyed. :)

Guys and Dolls

2005-05-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend I watched the old musical Guys and Dolls with Frank Sinatra. And by that I mean Frank Sinatra was in it, not that Mr. Sinatra accompanied me while I viewed the film. Though that would have been exciting (and morbid, considering he is not living at this present time).

I didn't even realize that one of the main characters was Marlon Brando until I saw the end credits. I guess I don't watch very many old movies. Or many movies with Marlon Brando when he was young.

From what I could tell, the theme of the movie was gambling and the relational roles of men and women. This chump named Sky Masterson (Brando) bragged to Sinatra that he could convince any girl to go lunch with him in Havana by the next day. What an ego! And, what confidence!

Sinatra said he'd give Masterson a thousand bucks if he could get Sarah Brown, the decent but unfeeling young doll that ran the local mission, to ship off to Cuba. Sky soon marched into the mission to introduce himself to Sarah. He told her that he was an awful sinner in need of the help of repentance. She wasn't buying it - for after all, he was a successful gambler (and generally only unsuccessful gamblers would want to repent). Ms. Brown was probably a little impressed that Sky could quote the Bible near better than her, however.

Of course, the two ended up talking about Sarah's personal life and wound up in an argument about what kind of man she was "waiting" for, as Masterson hinted that he was interested in her. She said something like, "You think I'm a prude, don't you? I'm one of those innocent but neurotic girls who is thoroughly afraid of forbidden sins - only because I have an unusual fascination with the sin. I know all about it -I've read two books on it."

Of course, she goes to Cuba with him and pretty much goes off the deep end - madly in love - dropping all inhibitions. He didn't even really try to seduce her. She fell all by herself because she wanted to fall. Seems kind of sad. But at least they had a proper Christian wedding right away!!

I don't know why I'm reviewing this movie right now. Probably because I have "Luck Be A Lady Tonight" stuck in my head. Right from the beginning when only the instrumental music was playing, I heard the melody for the song and was all excited that the song was in this musical (I had only heard it on Mrs. Doubtfire before that). Two or so hours into the film, I was losing my confidence that the song would be sung. I thought I was hallucinating with the instrumental melody. But then Brando sang it, yes him rather than Sinatra. And it was one choice song.

A blog

2005-05-12T09:22:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a happy blog.

i think, therefore...

2005-05-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

Ever heard the phrase, "I think, therefore I am?" It's a common one. I could agree with it, because certain sources would seem to make some sense of it:

"Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills.
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass." -James Allen

-and-

"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." This is an aphorism supposedly taken from Proverbs 23:7, which actually reads "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee." Even though the altered scripture could not be relied upon as a generalizaton from a biblical point of view, obviously, I'm wondering if it holds any value. I think it might.

-but-

"...if a man thinketh himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself." - Galations 6:3 (KJV). We shouldn't deceive ourselves by believing we are what we tell ourselves we are. I do believe that what we tell ourselves we are can have a measurable effect on what we become and that thought processes are very significant. This is biblical; Paul teaches that we must "be transformed by the renewing of our mind."

I like what Jim Baumgaertel said at some such Web page:

"The world says we can mold ourselves and create our own destiny by the powers of our own minds. The Bible says we have no hope in and of ourselves. Our only hope for eternal life and abundant life now is to put our trust in the Lord Jesus Christ."

But we can easily detract from or destroy our relationship with and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ if we do not take our minds captive.

Well then. This is certainly something to think about (outrageously ingenius pun intended).

I would venture to change imperfect "I think, therefore I am," to another, perhaps more truthful phrase: "I think, therefore I need to think some more."